October 17, 2024

– Do you write actual just right with dem fancy phrases?

– May you promote hair care merchandise to Patrick Stewart?

– Do you thrive in a high-stress setting stuffed with political infighting, forms, and company nonsense?

If this is the case, then we’re the position for you, apart from chances are you’ll hate how great of an organization we’ve – stuffed with glad, in most cases competent folks that don’t post with jerks. Frankly, it makes me unwell how great everyone seems to be.

We’re far off complete time, have very versatile hours, individuals are judged through their output, no longer through how a lot they suck as much as the boss, and turnover is tremendous low for the reason that corporate believes that glad workers=glad consumers=glad checking account. Merely disgusting, in the event you inquire from me.

–Is that this an actual task advert?–

Yup! Amazingly sufficient, we in fact paid cash to submit this on a number of various task websites. And it’s no longer even a pyramid scheme! Plus, get this: the landlord simply began paying our 60ish workers with cash as a substitute of Pizza Hut coupons – we’re giant time, other people.

Our careers web page is in fact value testing to be informed extra about how insane we’re (sidenote: it received a internet design award in 1993 – we’re a fairly large deal):

And try our evaluations on Google, Glassdoor, or Certainly to peer that it’s no longer simply the founder’s mom who says we’re cool.

–What do you guys do?–

We do numerous various things this present day together with promoting superior shopper merchandise (those are only a small sampling): 

Working this Amazon Pay-In keeping with-Click on company: PPCFarm.com (we’re actually, actually just right at PPC)

And we will be able to quickly be launching a SaaS product for stock control.

We’re doing our highest to develop all of a sudden annually, and it’s our goal to proceed that for so long as imaginable, which means that we’d like just right other people to assist us stay alongside of the expansion.

–What’s your corporate like?–

1. You Can Be Your self. You don’t have to position on a pretend, skilled face. You’ll be able to simply be your self. You’ll be able to communicate smack to the CEO (extremely inspired), and nobody will suppose anything else of it. You do not need to decorate up, or use formal language, or faux to be one thing you might be no longer – you’ll simply be you.

2. Primary Alternatives for Occupation Expansion. We don’t seem to be seeking to simply be a small industry. We plan to be doing $100 million every year in the following couple of years. We recommend temporarily when we establish ability. It doesn’t subject what your credentials are – it issues what you get finished.

3. Complete Time Faraway/Versatile Hours. You’re going to be operating from house for your pajamas, for your time table. And we don’t care in the event you paintings 10 hour days 4 days every week or 6 hours an afternoon and catch up over the weekend. As long as you get numerous paintings finished, we’re glad campers.

4. Entire Paintings/Existence Steadiness. Should you’re mechanically operating greater than 45ish hours, you’re gonna get a pleasant talking-to. We wish you to be working at 100% capability, which means that that you wish to have to leisure.

5. Strongly Anti-BS. Anyone within the corporate can (and is predicted to) inform the CEO when he’s improper. There aren’t any bureaucratic or BS laws moving into the way in which of having paintings finished.

6. No Micro-Control. While you’re skilled and feature demonstrated you already know your stuff, we’re lovely hands-off. In reality, if you wish to have exterior control to stick on-task and motivated, we most likely aren’t where for you.

7. No Poisonous/Incompetent Other people Allowed. We strive very laborious to display screen out imply or silly other people sooner than they get in, however in case they slip via, we fireplace them temporarily. You’re going to by no means have to engage with any individual who’s an evident fool or instantly up malicious. No poisonous or incompetent other people at paintings – may it actually be? [Yes]

8. Supportive Setting. We don’t perform by means of intense pressure or unreasonable top-down cut-off dates. Everybody needs you to achieve success – interior politics are at a minimal right here.

9. A number of Raises. We do our best to get forward of items and provides raises preemptively, so that you do not need to invite for one. It is not bizarre at concerned with any individual to obtain 2+ raises consistent with yr.

10. We’ll Spend money on Your Coaching. We wish you and everybody to recuperate repeatedly. You’ll be finding out new issues at all times, and are strongly inspired to speculate time on a daily basis to be informed new issues, reinforce your machine/paintings procedure, and simply in most cases attempt to make your lifestyles more straightforward.

11. 4-6+ Weeks Holiday. We 100% need you to recharge, so having quite a few day off is basically value it.

12. Paid Maternity/Paternity Go away. We’ve even began letting other people skip conferences throughout exertions!

13. Self-Funded So We Can Do What’s Proper for Us. We don’t have to respond to to somebody however ourselves, so we will be able to make the appropriate determination for the long-term well being of the corporate vs seeking to get giant too rapid or reduce corners to assuage some egocentric investor.

–What are your corporate’s values?–

Sure, the ones are legitimately our values. The careers web page is no doubt value testing – it’s no longer simply customary company BS. We promise you’ll be told so much about us.

–OK, so I’ve learn like 8 dang pages about you guys. Will you inform me what the real task is?–

No.

–Wait… What?–

Tremendous brief model:

Writing numerous issues, together with Amazon listings, website online replica, packaging replica, apology notes to other people the founder hits along with his automotive, and extra.

You’ll even be growing and keeping up a machine to successfully create global elegance replica, which we’ll no doubt mean you can with.

To be transparent, copywriting isn’t just writing – there’s a ton of key phrase analysis and marketplace analysis. The most productive copywriter in most cases spends simply as a lot time pondering/researching their target market as they do in fact generating phrases on paper.

Like everybody else within the corporate, you are going to additionally wish to innovate continuously – which means that working out techniques to reinforce high quality and manufacturing pace.

It’s difficult, however a laugh paintings that’s going to require numerous time and assignment control, problem-solving, and an affordable quantity of other people abilities.

–Do I would like enjoy?–

We think you to have no less than 70 years of enjoy (120+ most well-liked).

Oh, you have not lived two lifetimes consuming and respiring industry 24/7/365? Who TF do you suppose you might be, studying this task description? You absolute buffoon.

Oh, you have not been immediately focused on no less than two (ideally 3) Global Wars? You are no longer even certified to perform our espresso gadget, you sentient potato.

Oh, you did not practice the Giant Bang because it took place? Get out of right here, you pirated replica of Home windows 95.

I would possibly actually throw up out of your insolence. The hubris to suppose that you simply, you absolute idiot, may practice for an apprentice place – completely sickening.

Additionally, no you are not looking for any enjoy. Should you’re superior, we’ll have the ability to inform.

We wish particular other people, and don’t give AF what their background is. Maximum of our highest other people did not anything remotely associated with their present roles, so in the event you’ve by no means finished anything else like this sooner than, do not sweat it. We rent 100x extra for attainable than present wisdom.

The Giant Bang requirement nonetheless stands although.

–Do I want a school level?–

You simply wish to be superior.

–Are there any geographic restrictions?–

So long as you might be in a rustic that doesn’t have lively sanctions from the USA executive, we have an interest. Our founder isn’t identified for respecting the federal government a lot, however they have got the entire weapons, so…

–How a lot will I be anticipated to jot down?–

So much, nevertheless it received’t be anything else unrealistic. We principally don’t have quotas any place within the corporate, most commonly as a result of everybody simply produces at a excessive degree on their very own.

–Do I wish to be a local English speaker?–

It’ll most likely mean you can however no you don’t. Now we have other people in every single place the sector doing ingenious issues for us. Should you eat numerous American media, I wager you’ll be simply superb.

–This sounds lovely just right, although I’m nonetheless skeptical that this isn’t a pyramid scheme.–

You sound similar to the tax government!

–That doesn’t unravel any of my fears, however what do I wish to do to use?–

Please publish your knowledge at the following web page to use. We promise to reply inside 5-10 industry days although our solution is No.

There will likely be a couple of steps on this procedure, FYI, together with a protracted written software, interviews with probably a couple of other other people, and paid paintings check(s). Hiring the appropriate other people is actually laborious and really dear if we do it poorly, so we need to front-load the method. I am sorry about that and thanks for sticking with us.

While you’re in our pipeline although, I’d watch for supplying you with a last solution inside a couple of weeks, relying on the way it is going. We no doubt don’t wish to string you alongside, and so long as you do what we ask, we promise to inform you “sure” or “no”, and not to simply ghost you (like everyone I fit with on Tinder).

Thanks to your time and hobby, and I am hoping we will be able to paintings in combination quickly!

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